Emotional Intelligence: Strategies To Nurture It In Your Child

Other than academic intelligence, teaching children about how to manage their emotions and respond appropriately is also extremely necessary.

Emotional intelligence is a person’s ability to identify, evaluate, control and express emotions.

It helps to communicate with others, negotiate situations and develop clear thought patterns.

Some kids are more instinctively in tune with their emotional intelligence and will be ready to deal with new situations and people easily.

However, others have a low emotional intelligence from the start and needs to be taught in more focused way.

Regardless, all children need to have their emotional intelligence nurtured and supported throughout their childhood.

As a parent, if you are not able to develop emotional intelligence in your child earlier, you child can face emotional hurdles later on.

Here, we have brought some of the strategies you should apply as a parent to teach your child about emotional intelligence.

Acknowledge Your Children’s Perspective And Empathize

Even when your children are upset and you cannot do anything about it, you can empathize.

Just being there and understanding why your children are expressing some sort of emotion can help a lot.

However, empathizing doesn’t only mean you have to agree. Just that you see it from your children’s side too.

Entitle your children to do what they want to do and what they want to say.

Help your children reflect on their experience and what triggers their feelings.

For little ones, just knowing there’s a name for their feeling is an easy strategy to make them learn emotional intelligence.

However, for the grown up children try to listen to their situations but don’t make the judgment quickly.

Always try to acknowledge their emotions and make them feel that you are always there for them.

Help Your Children Recognize Their Own Emotions

This is one of the best strategies to nurture your child’s emotional intelligence.

Once you help your children name their own emotions, whether it be anger, disappointment, or happiness, they can start taking their ownership.

For the little ones, this strategy might not work well. But, this emotional intelligence strategy will definitely work for the younger ones.

As a parent you would never want to see your children going through lots of emotions.

You would always want to comfort your children. However, that doesn’t work always.

So, when your children are feeling upset ask them to describe what they are feeling.

Do it often so they get to know what it feels like to be sad or angry or happy.

In this way they will learn to name their own emotions and deal with it.

Talk About Your Own Emotions

The best strategy to foster emotional intelligence is to show it to your children.

Tell your children how you are feeling and allow them to perceive it for themselves.

For instance, when your children get back from school tell them all about how your day went.

After that, ask them to do the same so that they share their emotions with you.

If your children had a bed incident at school, tell them about your incidents too.

However, it is also important to talk about the positive emotions too.

One of the most important things here to remember while teaching your children about emotional intelligence is to never blame them.

Even if you are angry with your children do not make them sad.

Remember, talking about your emotions to your children doesn’t mean you have to show it practically.

Happy emotions are okay to show however, sad or angry emotions are never good to show.

Let them learn it by themselves and talk it out with your children.

Help Them Recognize The Mood or Feeling Inside Your House


The mood and feelings doesn’t remain same forever. One way or the other it has to get changes.

If you have house party or family gatherings, the emotions or feelings might be happy and vibrant for your children.

However, if you have some sort of family issues or fight with your husband or wife, it might trigger your children’s emotions.

So, discuss these differences with your children. Allow them to recognize the different moods inside your house.

And see how their own emotions impacts and what happens in the house.

Teach Your Children Problem Solving Techniques

One of the best strategy to help your children nurture their emotional intelligence is teaching them to solve problems.

Emotions are messages, not mud from wallowing.

Hence, teach your child to breathe through them, feel the, tolerate them without needing to act on them.

This emotional intelligence technique might be hard for children to understand easily.

So, sort it out by being with your children in every phase of their emotion and pass it out.

Most of the time, children feel their emotions are understood and accepted, the feelings lose their charge and begin to dissipate.

Sometimes, children can do this themselves. However, the other times they need brainstorming.

But resist the urge to rush in and handle the problem unless they ask you to do so.

If they are able to handle their emotions themselves, it’s a good emotional intelligence strategy you can always apply.

Help Them Recognize Their Emotions When Going Places

This strategy is also one of the best in knowing and nurturing your children’s emotional intelligence.

Going into a crowded shopping mall will feel different from being at a playground.

So, talk to your children about the different moods and emotions they get in different places.

As your children what they like most and what places they enjoy being the most and why.

Try this activity with new and familiar places you go and at different times.

For instance, if you are at a supermarket and it is really busy, ask them what mood they pick up.

And then if you go the next time and it is really quite, ask them what mood they pick up now.

Final Thoughts

Bringing awareness about emotions and moods that are felt or perceived in different situations helps your child assess the emotional intelligence of each place.

For instance, if they have just started at a new school, they will know what the mood is and will be able to deal with it much more easily.

They will also be aware of how they pick up the moods of others in their day.

Not only that, teaching emotional intelligence will help your children differentiate what’s good and what’s bad for them.