Self

Who am I?-Struggling to be real me.

Feb 15 2019 By Sriya
who am i
who am i

When someone ask me tell me about yourself, I cannot describe who exactly am I? I am stuck between so many options and could not figure out who exactly am I and what aim do I have in my life?

I keep wondering in what way and by what means can an individual who is under the impression that he/she is a separate individual limited by and enclosed in his/her bag of skin be happy?

 

How can such a person effectively realize that deep down he is the universal self? That’s where my life is stuck at.

 

Being born in a middle class family, with simple value and norms gave me mentality of becoming my parent’s loyal child. I always believed what my parent’s choices were, they were good enough for me and never had a second thought about it.

 

But as time passed the inner me didn’t want to follow the norms and values given by my parents.

 

My parents always wanted me to study hard and become a banker either wise a doctor. As a kid I agreed to whatever they said or wanted me to do.

By during my teenage phase, I realized I was not the one who could fit in that job. I’m sure many of you have gone from similar cases. I’m nothing more different from other youths.

Though my aims, my thinking’s were different from my parents, I always obeyed them.

They wanted me to study the subjects of their choice, I did. Also, they wanted me to work for others and earn money, I even did that. But, my heart was somewhere else.

I wanted to start up my own business. I always dreamt of being a girl boss and making people work under my supervision.

Never had I enjoyed the fact of working under someone’s supervision and taking their orders.Being born in a middle class family, it seems next to impossible. My parents were having a hard time to pay for my expenses.

On top of that, if I had told them about the fact that I wanted to be an entrepreneur, they would have rejected my opinion at first place.

As, being a BBA student, I learned may things about being an entrepreneur. I gained lots of skills to be an entrepreneur.

That made my motive stronger. But, as I went to express my feelings to my parents, I could not express as the thought of being financially unstable would revolve around by mind twenty four hours.

I am, still continuing my bachelor’s degree and my goals have been constant since the past few years. Yet, the same old history and the fact that my parents will not be able to take such a big risk.

I am hanging in the pendulum of two different situations. It is not totally negative, in fact I am learning many things in life.

 

Hopefully, someday I will be able to express my feelings to my parents and make them believe about the positive outcome their investment can make.

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