What Extroverts don’t understand about Introverts

Every time I look at people who are so comfortable with socializing, I get jealous. Honestly, how do you do it?

Whenever I talk to an outspoken person, I wonder why does it come so easy to them? The whole communicating with people part.

It’s hard being an introvert, especially when you have to deal with other people in a social situation.

Talking to other people isn’t the only hard thing introverts go through. There’s a whole list of it.

A list of things extroverts would never ever understand.

It’s easy for introverts to understand an extrovert since we’re such good observers.

We might envy them for being the way they are. But we also understand why.

However, one thing that bothers every introvert is why won’t extroverted people understand them?

Even the schools and parents try so hard to convert introverts into an outspoken and friendly person.

They tell us to step out of our comfort zone and socialize. “Why don’t you try to live a little?” is what everyone says to people who like to keep it to themselves.

But, why is it that only introverts have to step out of their comfort zone? Why can’t, for once, extroverts try to understand what it feels like to be shy and not open up?

But it’s not just the having difficulty to communicate part that extroverts don’t understand. There is so much more.

Here are things extroverts don’t understand about introverts.

Multiple Layers of Personality.

When someone looks at an introvert, sitting comfortably in their own little bubble, they automatically assume they’re lonely.

Everyone has a perception about introverts that they’re shy and quiet, and have a hard time opening up to anyone at all.

But the truth is, introverted people have layers and layers of personality. It’s all up to them to show it to people.

They’re not quiet because they just can’t converse. They’re quiet because they’re observing you and your personality.

Yes, it is hard for them to open up easily, but that doesn’t mean they’ll forever be quiet.

Patience is what you need to unravel the multiple layers of personality introvert posses.

They can be chatty, fun to hang out with, and really wise when they’re comfortable.

But what they want in return is a genuine friend whom they can trust and be comfortable around.

So, before assuming that they’re always quiet, try getting to know them better and see the magic of their personality unfold.

Small Talks are Boring.

It’s not that introverted people don’t like to talk. If you ask me, introverts are the best people to talk to.

But what they hate is having to make small talks. It’s just so boring that they prefer to boycott conversation entirely sometimes.

It’s amazing for them to find someone who they can relate to on a deeper level, even if their personality doesn’t match.

But if someone is not ready to go beyond the surface, they don’t like to waste their time and energy on them.

It’s just not worth it to open up to people who are only there to know about your day or what did you eat for lunch.

If you’re really interested, try asking them about life, space, feelings, and everything else.

Everything takes time.


Trying to know an introverted person is like working out to lose weight, it takes time and patience.

Whether you want them to share their feelings, dance or sing without hesitation, or just be comfortable around you.

It’s really hard for a person who doesn’t like to talk to people to actually talk to people.

So, you can’t expect them to share their thought right away.

All you need to do is give them time. And more importantly, give them the assurance that you’re there for them.

Sometimes, it might take a lifetime for introverts to open up. But that doesn’t mean they’re not interested. It’s just they’re not comfortable with it.

And for an introvert, comfort means everything.

It’s not just getting them to open up that takes time. It takes time to know them, their interests and habits.

Knowing the things that excite them and make them happy takes time. And one thing that takes the most time is to unravel all their hidden personality traits.

Being alone is the best thing sometimes.

We understand that you, being an extrovert, are only trying to help us loosen up. You’re only trying to help us feel comfortable to be around other people.

But one thing you should know is that we have accepted being along as a part of our life.

The beauty of being alone is something everyone can’t embrace. But introverts have it in them.

It is true that we don’t open up as easily as other people do. It’s also true that socializing is a daunting task and we’d avoid it as much as we can.

However, that doesn’t mean we prefer being alone because we don’t know how to be around people.

It’s just that sometimes being alone is the most amazing thing. It gives us time to think about things we can’t when we’re around others.

It’s when we’re productive and we truly become our true self.

So, for introverts, being alone is not only a choice but also a necessity.

Sharing isn’t as easy as keeping it to self.

Extroverts live baring it all. They are exactly how they show themselves to be in front of everyone, open and confident.

But what they don’t understand is how hard it is for introverts to be open and confident.

No matter how much you insist, there are things we’re not comfortable sharing. We’d rather keep it hidden inside our secret vaults than talk about it with anyone.

On top of the discomfort is the anxiety that surrounds us at all times. Honestly, anything can make us anxious.

Whether it is something big like speaking in front of a crowd. Or, something small like talking on the phone with someone.

So, before assuming anything about introverts, what extroverts need to do is try to understand them on a deeper level.


About the author


Talks to self, more than others. Watches "the Office" all night and quotes Michael Scott all day.
"I am Beyoncé, always."