Mindset

Self Sabotaging Behaviors: Ways to Work Around Them

Sep 30 2019 By Aayushma B.

Do you frequently blow up your chance at achieving the one thing you’ve always wanted?

And the one to blame for, is yourself?? Chances are alike me, you’ve been self sabotaging the possibilities of your own happiness.

It’s a relief to find someone else with the same issue. However, nobody wants to be the cause of their own destruction.

In spite of  the difficulties I faced while overcoming the butchering of my own happiness, I used these tricks to help me out of it.

 

Self Sabotaging Your Relationship

Self Sabotaging Behaviors: Ways to Work Around Them

One of the best way you self sabotage your loving bond is by constantly doubting your partner.

Similarly, feeding your insecurities with the likelihood of being cheated on doesn’t make it any better.

Furthermore, initiating fights and arguments that don’t really make sense with your loved ones is another way.

Self destructive people find a way to could console themselves while failing their relationships.

The reason that people do these things are normally because of their lack of ability to work on themselves.

Nonetheless, there are ways to avoid such destructive behaviors.

  • List out the things that make you doubt your importance in the relationship.
  • Draw out the pattern of your behavior in the current and past relationships and find a way to break them.
  • Communicate the problems your face to your partner.
  • In the same manner, get to know your partner better. This reduces your fear of being misguided or lied to.

 

Procrastination

Self Sabotaging Behaviors: Ways to Work Around Them

The paper you need to complete before the deadline tomorrow waits for you as you complete the hot new show on netflix or as you scroll through instagram.

On the night before an important deadline are you usually pulling an all nighter?

These are the most common ways you avoid facing the discomfort of actually doing something productive that leads to self sabotaging behavior.

Our mind doesn’t like us working hard, it creates scenarios and ways you can avoid causing trouble to your comfort zone. Conversely, we have dreams of achievements.

So, to avoid self sabotaging your dreams with your own laziness you can follow these habits:

  • Create a To-Do-List. And FOLLOW IT.
  • Start with the easiest task. This will create a sense of accomplishment as you get to cross out your pending work.
  • Divide your work into smaller tasks.
  • Treat yourself every time you finish something big and take enough breaks.

 

Post Traumatic Sabotaging

Although non-intentional, the likelihood of being the cause of your failures is considerable after a traumatic event.

Perhaps you got out of an abusive relationship or faced a terrible accident, the probability of causing yourself distress could be common after such incidents.

You might start becoming forgetful, stressed, frustrated, easily shocked and some events might break you down easily.

However, it’s no reason to give up on yourself, or let these feelings get the best of you.

Follow these to help yourself out of it self destructive behaviors:

  • Understand and accept your situation. Everyone has different problems and unique perception. Therefore, it’s important to draft out your own look at events to start with.
  • Write, Write and Write. One way I can pour my heart out without the fear of being judged is writing. It’s an easy way to get to know yourself better.
  • Don’t let your self criticisms get into your head. You might be lacking in some way but it doesn’t have to define who you are.
  • SELF CARE! There are dozens of ways to take care of yourself. Find your best
  • Try and talk to people around you. Everyone has their own share of problems. Thus, listening to theirs and opening up might give you a sense of calm.

 

Imposter Syndrome and Self Esteem

We don’t choose to be unhappy but we choose our actions.

The more that we let our emotions control us, the more we lose control of ourselves. It’s easy to blame things on ourselves, and it is worse when we are prone to self sabotaging.

Imposter Syndrome your brain the right to find faults about yourself which later serves your urge to put the blame on.

It’s important to understand self worth to develop faith over own self and avoid self destruction. And for that you can do these:

  • Acknowledge your self destructive thoughts and emotions.
  • Understand your mistakes and inabilities but draw a line between these two.
  • Accept the praise instead of brushing them away.
  • In order to avoid self-doubt, confront your flaws and make efforts to minimize them.
  • Accept the criticisms and work on them if it legitimate.
  • Avoid unnecessary responsibilities.
  • Learn to say NO!

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