Jealousy is a toxic behavior that affects all the experience of an individual. Occasional jealousy is very natural and can even be motivating sometimes. But if you find yourself upset every time you see someone being happy or enjoying, then it can be a serious problem. Or maybe your jealousy is making you paranoid and causing problems.
No one enjoys feeling jealous. Yet, jealousy is an inevitable emotion that everyone will experience. The problem with jealousy isn’t that it comes up from time to time, but what it does to you when you don’t get a hold on it.
Sometimes, jealousy can be frightening to experience when you allow your jealousy to overpower you or shape away your feelings about yourself and the world. Jealousy can also have a deep effect on your mental health and have a high chance of getting depression.
So, it is necessary to understand where the jealousy comes from and learn how to deal with jealousy in healthy, adaptive ways. This will help a lot to lead a good life from interpersonal relationship, career to personal goals.
It is a basic reality that when people get jealous in their relationship, that doesn’t last for a longer period of time. The more you get a hold on our feelings of jealousy and make sense of them, the better it will be.
In relationship, jealousy often comes from insecurity and feelings of being hurt or rejected. Unless you deal with the feelings yourself, you are more likely to fall being a victim of jealousy.
It may feel pointless or illogical, but it is completely natural to want what others have and to feel competitive. However, it depends upon how you use these feelings to the level of satisfaction and happiness.
If you use competitive jealousy to uplift yourself than your competition than it is a healthy kind of jealousy. But at the same time, if you are using those jealousy to serve your inner critic, to tear down ourselves or others, that is clearly a destructive pattern with demoralizing effects.
How to overcome jealousy
Own your jealousy
No matter how much jealous you feel, you can always find a way to come back to yourself very soft and clam. The first thing you need to do when you are jealous is, accept your emotions with compassion. It is important to admit that you feel jealous about something.
The truth is, people often think that they feel jealous because of the behavior of someone else. Admitting your jealousy can feel threatening for sometimes, but acknowledging it makes you feel way better.
Calm down and stay vulnerable
Remember that no matter how strong you feel, your feelings tend to pass in waves. It is definitely possible to accept and acknowledge your jealousy without acting on it.
You can surely learn many tools to calm yourself down before reacting. You can take a long walk or series of deep breaths to control your jealousy. It is a lot easier to calm down in this way when you refuse to tolerate or indulge in the angry works of you inner critic.
A lot of people frown upon the idea of competitiveness. Rather than letting the green monster turn you into a monster, you can allow yourself to feel inspired. Connect with whom you want to be and take actions that brings you closer to your competition.
If you maintain a desire to act with integrity and go after your goals, you can win most of the important battles in your life. So, be ready to face any sort of challenge in your life.
Talk about it
Talking to a right person is always a better solution to any sort of problems. When something like jealousy is taking over, it is important to find the right person to talk to in a healthy way.
The person who is supportive will always listen to what you say and have a positive side of you. Venting to these people is very much fine as long as it is a matter of letting out your irrational thoughts about any sort of things in your life. This process works only when it relives your feelings and allows you to move on to a better phase of life.
Stay off social media
Social media floods you with images of people sharing fragments of their lives that might spark some amount of jealousy in you. People often post things that show the positive side of themselves off the social media.
So, staying out of social media for limited time can be helpful to overcome jealousy. If you cannot stay off social media, unfollow or unfriend the people you feel jealousy of.
Replace the negativity
Channel your jealousy for personal gain. Identify your jealousy issues, focus on what’s missing and fill that void. If you find that you have a void because you notice someone else’s gain, it won’t get you anywhere.
Use your jealousy for your self-improvement. No matter what you are jealous of, the question is: What is standing in your way of having what you want? What is holding you back? Allow your jealousy to fuel your work ethic to fill the void.
Be happy alone
If all fails, then learning how to be happy alone can help you build a better relationship with yourself. Having a healthy relationship with yourself means that you are able to value yourself as a person. It will allow you to acknowledge your strength and weaknesses and act accordingly.
Take time to consider yourself every day by practicing self-care, self-respect, and self-love techniques.
There is no doubt that it takes a certain level of emotional maturity to deal with the many feelings around jealousy. It takes lots of willingness to cater the insecurities generated by the mind or heart. It take strong willpower to step back and resist the jealous reactions.
However, when you foster this power within yourself, you realize that you are a lot stronger than you think.