Lifestyle

How to fix a broken marriage without counselling?

Sep 16 2020 By sylvia smith
Game over?? Need to fix your marriage?
Game over?? Need to fix your marriage?
photo: pxfuel

Do you want to fix a broken marriage? Your marriage is in desperate need of a tune-up. The only problem is, your spouse isn’t keen on the idea of marriage therapy.

Seeking counselling can be invaluable for couples who are struggling in their relationship, but many partners are resistant. Why? Simply put, they aren’t comfortable airing their business to a complete stranger. They may have trouble being vulnerable in front of a counsellor or feel that they don’t have time in their busy schedule for a marriage therapist.

You do not need to go to counselling to fix a broken marriage. Trust in the process of an online marriage course. Not only is this a private way to air your differences with your spouse, but you can also do it from the comfort of your own laptop or smart device, at your own pace, at a time that works for you.

Your marriage should be your safe-haven, not a war zone. Your spouse should be your best friend and partner, not your enemy. Don’t let your marriage get dragged down.

Here are 5 tips for fixing your marriage without counselling.

  1. Spend quality time together

One of the biggest ways that you can fix your broken marriage is by spending quality time with your spouse. Research shows that couples who have a weekly date night experience more marital excitement, which helps prevent boredom and wandering eyes.

Date night is also helpful for re-establishing a romantic connection for couples who have hectic schedules with work and raising children. It gives them the opportunity to dress up, flirt, and romance one another out.

  1. Learn how to improve communication

Each partner was raised differently and have their own idea about how to communicate in a relationship. The trouble is, their methods of opening up to one another don’t always align. This can lead to misunderstandings, hurt feelings, or couples freezing one another out.

In a survey about reasons for seeking a divorce, 53 per cent of couples cited “no longer able to talk with one another” as one of the top reasons for splitting. This stresses the importance of learning how to communicate with your spouse before it’s too late.

An online marriage course will help couples learn different techniques for communicating. Not only will this help them work through issues and learn how to fight fair, but research shows that great communication is also beneficial for your sex life. Greater amounts of sexual communication were associated with relationship satisfaction and more frequent orgasms (in women).

  1. Take an online marriage course

For those that are desperate to save their relationship but are not comfortable with the couple’s counselling, an online marriage course is just the things for you. Learning about the fundamentals of marriage – going back to basics – is exactly what most couples need to refresh their relationship.

Taking an online marriage course helps in navigating difficult financial challenges that often plague a marriage. It will also teach you the importance of emotional and physical intimacy with your partner, both of which are strongly related to trust and marital satisfaction.

Sharing goals is another great lesson in a marriage course that will help you and your spouse build a stronger marriage foundation. It also helps you learn how to work as a team.

  1. Let your actions speak louder than words

  • “I’m sorry.”
  • You can trust me!”
  • “It’ll never happen again.”

Each of these sentences has something in common. They are all sentences where the actions will speak louder than words. In order to fix a broken marriage, you must work hard to restore any trust that has been damaged throughout your relationship.

To begin building trust, you must quit any bad habits that are damaging your marriage. These may include: a physical/emotional/online affair, drinking, abusing drugs, gambling/overspending money. Once the bad habit has been conquered, your spouse will be able to take their first breath of relief. Then you can start working on your personal relationship.

Be dependable to your spouse. Show up when you say you will or text or call when you say you will. Show them that they can rely on you. If you’re sorry, it’s good to apologize. But even more important is letting your actions show that you are genuinely regretful for what happened and do your best not to let it happen again.

  1. Have a regular marriage check-in

Let’s say you have a car that you absolutely love. Not only is it a good-looking car, but it’s fun to drive, has all the bells and whistles you could ever dream of, and gets you to work every single day. You rely on this car.

In order to keep your car running smoothly, you take it into the shop every few months to make sure it’s alright. You change tires, do an oil check, refill the power steering fluid, check on antifreeze/coolant, and the list goes on. You want to make sure your car is well-cared for no matter what the season.

If this is how much you care about your car, how much more should you care about your marriage? Like a car, a marriage needs regular check-ups to ensure everything is running smoothly.

As your online marriage courses progress, you and your spouse should have monthly “marriage check-ins” to ensure that all your needs are being met.

Make sure you use calm tones and kind words. The point of check-in is not to get into an argument, it’s about validating your partner’s feelings and setting goals together as a couple.

Online marriage courses can help you put your broken relationship back together, but you must be willing to work at it. Both partners must put in the time and energy required to let the different lesson plans reach their hearts. Spend quality time together, let your actions speak, and communicate regularly. This is a great start to fixing your marriage.

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