Mindset

How to Deal With Controlling People

Jun 13 2019 By Sriya
How to Deal With Controlling People
How to Deal With Controlling People
How to Deal With Controlling People

Everyone goes to a phase in life where they find someone having a controlling issues at some point.

There are tons of people out there who micromanages and treats you like you’re completely wrong.

That’s what a controlling person does, making you feel embarrassed all the time.

Controlling people or control freaks are totally toxic, confidence and happiness-killing person that no one needs in their lives.

Those people who possess personality of being insecure with their and others lives are often controlling people.

These people might seem really confident and strong and make you fall in love at the initial phase.

But trust me, when you get to know them more, they will turn your life into exactly what they want it to be.

Quite often controlling people will leave friends and loved ones feeling as if they have lost their independence and autonomy.

So, if you have such controlling people in your life and have gone through same situations don’t worry.

We have got some amazing tips about how to deal with controlling people which will help you a lot in your life.

 

Characteristics of Controlling People

 

The Volatile Controller

How to Deal With Controlling People

Volatile Controllers are often the ones who often use the threat of losing their temper as a means of gaining control over others.

These types of controlling people often try to show their anger to people to make things according to their demands.

In fact, the sense of being out of control or loss of temper usually becomes unsettling for these people.

Their preference usually intimidates by issuing threats of what might happen if they do not get their way.

 

The “Smarter Than You” Controller

How to Deal With Controlling People

The Smarter Than You Controller often possess characteristic of using knowledge, logic and expertise to establish control.

These type of controlling people always have an answer prepared for everything and they consider themselves to be rather unfailing.

They often tend to derive power from your insecurities and self-doubts. These types of controlling people are always ready to target your flaws and make their strength to control you.

The Smarter Than You Controller will always present themselves as smarter and make you actually believe anything.

 

The Deceptive Controller

These are the controlling people who will start to spread rumors, bad-mouth others, omit crucial facts and lie in order to feel a sense of control over you.

This can be one of the most difficult styles to identify as it often takes time to realize things are being scored behind the scenes.

The Deceptive Controller are often good at what they do and are always surrounded by false things and lies.

 

The Passive Aggressive Controller

The Passive Aggressive Controller are those types of controlling people who establishes control by stonewalling.

These types of controlling people often say yes when they really mean no, and play with the victim when necessary.

These people dislike confrontation and conflict so, instead of being direct, they use diversionary tactics to get what they want.

They try to avoid the risk of getting hurt and play their game mindfully by making you feel you are the problem.

 

How to Deal With Controlling People

When dealing with controlling people it is important to remember one thing.

It is less about how to handle controlling people and more about how to handle yourself.

The first step is to be able to successfully identify when a person is controlling and what character he/she possess.

If you try to understand their character than you will be able to deal with them accordingly.

Here are some more helpful tips to get you started on the right path about how to deal with controlling people:

 

Believe in Yourself

Often people who lack self-confidence in themselves are found to easily get trapped in the words of controlling people.

They feel ill-equipped to question authority and most controlling people present themselves as authorities over everything.

Therefore, it is very important to remember all the successes and positive outcomes you have had in life.

You should be able to build up confidence in yourself so that you do not need to rely on others to make your own decisions.

 

Consider Why You Comply

People typically do what works for them. Controlling people continue to control because you let them control you.

The only way to deal with this is not letting them control you. No matter what tactics they apply, lead your life yourself confidently. Try to turn around and try to control the controller.

Yes, it’s easy to allow the controlling people to lead so that you just don’t have to take any responsibilities.

But, what if it backfires you? Trust me you will have to go through a really tough time if it does.

So, be prepared for your responsibilities and challenges by yourself and never let the controlling people control you.

This will show how independent and confident you are about yourself and will definitely make you proud of yourself.

 

Go Ahead and Give them the Control

Occasionally this idea tends to work. But it totally depends on how you lead it and what character the controlling people possess.

Sometimes the easiest way to deal with controlling people is to simply make them feel in control.

Verbalize that they were the inspiration behind the plan and that without them none of it would have happened.

 

Keep Ammunition Away From the Gun

It gets worst if you try to show your flaws and disabilities in front of controlling people. They will immediately try to use it as their strength.

Always watch what you say to controlling people, particularly if they are the deceptive controlling type.

It is very important that you do not share your secrets or discuss your fears with them. Instead discuss your achievements and strengths.

It’s no harm if you try to show off some of your talents in front of controlling people. They will get certainly get weaken at this point.

 

Remember it’s not You

This is an important thing to do while dealing with controlling people, especially the passive aggressive ones.

They seem to have a gift for turning things around and making you think you are the one who is wrong.

These type of controlling people will often play the “poor me” card until you find yourself feeling guilty.

Hence, to deal with controlling people you need to always remember that it’s not your fault and never feel guilty.

 

Say “No” or “Yes” and stick to it

The best way to deal with controlling people is to be direct and honest with them. It conveys a sense of confidence and self-worth.

Waffling takes that all away. So stick with your words no matter how much sugary the controlling people try to be with you to convince you.

It may get hard to handle them successfully and may require a lot of mental self-coaching on your part, but its worth in the end.

In conclusion about how to deal with controlling people, you just need to use caution where caution is needed.

Be very self-aware about controlling people not to harm you or your life. You know your situation better than anyone. So, be confident about it.

Never let anyone control your life. Make your own decisions and be responsible for what you do and what you owe.


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