A good apology can actually make things better in so many cases. Infact, we are afraid of being vulnerable to people. Humans need a lot of courage to be vulnerable and we end up not realizing our mistakes in the fight. We rather ignore the problem than accepting it as our fault. So, if we really want ourselves to be better at apologizing, it’s high time we learn these steps:
Realization and Acknowledgement:
The first step to making an apology effective is understanding the situation better. You need to be able to realize that it could be your fault. Acknowledging your mistakes is the first and the most important for an effective sorry.
After a fight or a discussion if you know that it was your fault or that you were the one who started it, make sure that you take the responsibility. Try to understand the situation and become the bigger person if you can.
Likewise, It is very likely that after you make a sincere apology the other party will also apologize for their bit. So, if this relationship is important to take the first step at mending it.
2. Express Remorse:
It is important that you express your regrets and guilt over the mistake that you made. It is important that you genuinely mean whatever you say. It will not be long lasting if you don’t mean it.
If you have committed a mistake, it is important that you accept your mistake and apologize whatever the consequence. Don’t try to indirectly express that the other person made you act a certain way.
In fact, this might end up making the situation worse. So, be thoughtful and express remorse while you apologize.
3. Say you’re sorry and mean it:
When we are apologizing it is possible that we try to stay away from the actual word of sorry. But we should understand that this word has so much weight to it. This word makes a lot of difference. You cannot really make an apology effective unless you say sorry.
However, it doesn’t mean that you can say sorry as you like. Before saying sorry understand why you are saying that and if it is really worth it. Don’t say that you are sorry when you don’t believe that it’s your fault. You need to realize your mistake before you say it.
4. Don’t play the blame game:
Most of the times when we are apologizing, we directly or indirectly blame the other person for their mistakes. while we doing so, it is important to understand, we are making them even angrier. They will definitely understand the reference which can make the situation even worse.
So, try to take the blame for your mistakes without making them feel bad. It is highly likely that a mature person will definitely express their feelings without you having to tell it to them.
5. Express assurance to the other person:
After you genuinely say that you are sorry, let them know that you will not repeat the mistake again. This is another very important step. Once you go through a fight, it is likely that the trust between you guys is broken. So, making them understand that you actually realize your mistake and are willing to take steps to make it better.
People feel better when they see someone actually making efforts to make things better. Relationships take a lot of effort, whichever kind that maybe. It is important for you to make them believe when you say sorry that you won’t repeat it again. Back this statement with points and exact amendments that you are going to make on your behavior. Try to be specific in your statements.
6. Make sure to make amends and stick to it:
Words are only as good as not apologizing at all if you are not planning to make any changes. When you tell someone that you are sorry and that you don’t want it to happen again, you need to make sure that you don’t.
People will lose trust in you if you go around making fake promises and not really doing anything to keep those promises. If you say that you are going to change a certain way you act, try to make the necessary changes to actually do it.
No one likes people breaking the promises that they make to them. If you continuously lie and make fake promises, eventually your words will not have any value.
Other Important Tips for a good apology:
While apologizing make sure to keep these tips in mind apart from the steps above.
- Remember that apology isn’t one way, it’s a conversation.
- Be specific about the issue and mention your plan to improve the situation.
- Ask them what you can do right now to make things better.
- Don’t expect them to forgive you at once.
- Don’t say things you don’t mean.
- Admit your responsibility and assure for changes.
- Try to be positive about things.